He cast me to the ground among the garbage left by others as if I belonged within the refuse. I hit the dirt so hard that the wind was knocked out of me. Despite it all… I knew that if I didn’t get out of there I might end up dead. The thought of my dead body left here chilled me. I started to cry when I thought about my parents worry when I wouldn’t arrive home.
Mr. All-American couldn’t have chosen a more advantageous locale within the barn. There was nothing weapon worthy, and my parents’ non-violence philosophies left me without hand-to-hand defense skills. Within a matter of seconds, I made my decision.
I was going to have to act. My friend, Jeremy, at the commune and I used to play the possum game. We’d see who could lie still as if one were playing possum while the other would attempt to get a reaction. I knew that I might stand a chance of walking away with my life if I could play possum better than I’d ever played it before. Only this time… I wouldn’t be playing.
The pretender called me every horrid name in the book. To him, I was just a piece of meat or a “cunt just for his use”. He ripped my shirt and bra off as he continued to call me “Bitch” and “Whore”. I felt so robbed in that moment. No man had ever seen my naked breasts. I’d always envisioned that it would be with awe and love in that future man’s eyes. Instead, this boy grabbed my breasts and squeezed so hard that involuntary tears leaked from my eyes.
Indira, you’re a possum. Possums don’t cry. Try harder.
He licked a long sweep of his tongue from my cheek all the way down to my naval. “You taste so good, but I bet you feel even better you fucking cunt.” In less time than it took to register that I no longer had my jeans on, he ripped my panties from body. It hurt so bad, but possums don’t cry.
Next thing I knew, he grabbed my upper arm and flipped me onto my stomach, and, then, I heard the tell-tale sign of a zipper being released.
Oh, God! Oh, please, GOD! Save me! Don’t let him do this to me! I’ll do anything but not this! Please, Oh, Lord, SAVE ME!
The pain was terrible. My virginity was stolen by this piece of shit who was raping me. I gave up playing possum and struggled with all my might. If I could get away from this horror, humiliation, and pain, maybe, I’d live. The more I struggled… the more he spewed filth from his mouth about how much he could tell I liked it, how I deserved to be fucked like the little bitch that I am, and how I was begging for it.
I couldn’t take it. I screamed, “NO! GET OFF! I DON’T WANT THIS! GET OFF ME, YOU FUCKTARD!”
“You want me to get off, huh? Well, here I come!” He groaned one last time a few seconds later.
I was still pinned and in pain. It was a pain like no other. It felt like I’d been ripped in half in both body and soul. My face was buried in the dirt when the tears began their torrential downpour.
He got up off me and just walked away. I heard him unlock his car as I lay amid the refuse, dirt, and dead grass with only the critters to witness my pathetic position.
“See ya around, Indira!” I heard him gun the engine and speed off. All efforts to turn over were fruitless. My body refused to obey me.
I guess today will be the first time I skip school since I’m never going to be able to move ever again.